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Salt Plains

Am feeling too weak to write about the whole of last week...so this is Charlotte's email home re the whole bunch of fun and games of the Salt Plains....... I'm off to try and force another bread roll down, and drink some tasty (!) rehydration salts.


Sorted out a bus to Uyuni which is the nearest town to the salt plains. The bus was a 70´s style brown plastic tube, but was full of tourists rather than the usual mountain people who are none too fragrant. Once again the road to Uyuni was not the best but it differed slightly in that there were no cliffs, but still plenty of bumps. There was spare room at the back of the bus so I went up there to lie out on the back seat with some Aussie guy that we met called Tavers (age 28) who is making his way to Santiago to work. Worst plan ever, you may recall that there is no suspension in the back. At first it was like a really inhumane massage chair, but over the rougher terrain which was not actually a road, I was tossed like a pancake for 14 hours, which was fun until your bladder was full and the size of a football. I did not sleep for the whole night.

We got to Uyuni, and booked into a hostel with Tavers and another Canadian guy called Bill (age 30), who had been travelling for 11 years, and is currently making a film on people he meets (Don´t worry I am not "coming soon to a cinema near you" - apparently me and K are not local enough, interesting enough or smelly enough to make the final cut).

Me and K then made our way to the local market and set about picking up the ingrediants for lunch. We made the hottest chilli sauce ever (Ben you would be proud) and put it over rice and veggies. There was a bit of a problem when K touched her eye with a chilli finger and was partially sighted for a few hours. I thought of bottling it up and using it as a mace spray when we get to Rio.

The next morning was the salt plain tour. Our group was the best ever, let me introduce you.... Firstly you have already been told of Tavers and Bill, there was also an American couple Chad (26) an enviromental worker and Jessie (25) a music therapist who were travelling all around SA before returning home , and last but not least there was Charlie (23) who was from Woking, and had been travelling for almost a year through Asia, NZ and then South America.

The first day we made our way to the salt plain and had some bonding sessions in the car. The driver did not speak a word of english and hardly any of us spoke any spanish . Once again communication fell to sign language and Charlies ingenious way of spanishising Engish words by adding an "io" on the end. Put the heating on became "putio the heatio onio" which kind of worked although the heating was a blow back of monoxide rich fumes directly from the engine.

Luckily Charlie and Tavers had a cd and minidisk player that we could plug into the car, and various cd´s to while away the hours (Tavers provided the classics and Charlie "contributed" Power Ballads). The Salt Plains was one of the best things I have seen yet, it is white salt as far as you can see, and as it had previously rained the clouds in the sky reflected on the ground and you could not see where the ground stopped and the sky began - it was like driving through Care Bear central. I will have to show you the photos, for you to beleive it.

We drove for a long time and Charlie told us about the route he had taken in Argentina and Brazil. We decided that we will need to change our flight from Buenos Aires to Santiago from 26th March to past 10th April if we want to fit everything in. The itinerary is now to go to San Pedro in Chile after the salt plains, then down to Salta in Argentina, then to Mendoza for a wine tasting day(but also because we have been told that the bus from Mendoza to BA is luxury for a cheap price-you get food, a waiter, films, chairbed - we are treating it as a necessary part of our trip), across to Buenos Aires , up through Uraguay and a cool beach, up to Iguazu falls, up to Florianopolis, and then to Rio. We are going to fly back down to BA and stay there for a while cos it is partytown on the cheap, and maybe have a look at a nearby trip before flying to Santiago and onto NZ.

The first night of the tour we stayed in a hotel made of salt. We had bought some bottles of Bacardi from Uyuni and shared it round. Then there was the smoking of the Coca T-bags, mainly because the cigarettes that we had L&M, were awful, but also cos some people thought that it could be possible to get a high out of it. Hardly, they were T-Bags for gods sake, but it did raise a few smiles from the tourists and a few eyebrows from the staff.

Next day we were mainly in the jeep, so to keep amused we played games including, who am I, name game, country game, and capital city game. A group name was thought up "Team Woodchip" after a John Williamson song that was playing the whole time. There are even team dance moves which the mute driver also tried his best to get down with.

Saw loads of Flamingoes but after a while we were having a better time in the car, and were most put out when we stopped and were forced to take in yet another breathtaking view. In fact we were at a crucial point when the car stopped and Charlie said "Oh Cr·p, we have to get out and look at that f··king rock now" - Not your typical tourists, but what do you expect when everything is Same, Same, but different (popular saying in Thailand - there is a T-shirt).

We arrived at the second hotel for the night which was pretty dire. The room was a dorm room for Team Woodchip with no electricity and was really cold.

The shower was a real highlight as not only was there no shower curtain, there was also no door to the bathroom, and to top it off there was a huge window in the corridor outside. As Charlie put it "this shower is all about privacy ", before trying to convince all the girls that they stunk. Laughed til I cried.

We had dinner and had also purchased more alcohol. Poor Charlie´s drink was topped up every few minutes and it was not long before he was "Battered" (Charlie gets battered alot). Chad was the devil and would introduce dice games so that people (especially Charlie) would drink more.

Another tour group arrived, mainly of English Guys. They were the most obnoxious people I have ever met,beer guzzling, pulling moonies, loud, morons! I did wonder to myself what on earth they were doing travelling as they would have been much more at home on an 18-30 holiday that they had paid for with their dole money. Everybody with a brain was just amazed that these people even existed so I tried to do my best to explain that it is not an English thing, and not to think of them as ambassadors of the country. I could not say too often that I was in fact Manx as a way of distancing myself from the "Gorillas in our Midst". Seduced by the fact that they were fellow English lads, Charlie made his way to the end of the table to join Team Ass··le. Lots of shouting and camaradarie ensued and it seemed that Charlie was lost forever.

Most of Team Woodchip had had enough by then, and could not bear the morons scream that the Americans are "Septic Tanks" (Yanks) and be generally ignorant and offensive. Jess, Chad, Katie, and I went to bed to escape.

I was awoken a couple of hours later to the startling sound of Charlie Dry Heaving. This swiftly turned to wet heaving and Chad jumped out of bed to see if he could help him. I buried my head and waited for the first wave of vomit smell to hit. Charlie cheerfully and semi-conciously informed us that he was fine and went back to sleep. It turned out that the door was also wide open, which explained my nose to toes were numb - I would have helped Charlie but I was unable to move.

An hour later Bill and Tavers waddled through the door, and I felt that I should give them fair warning that their beds may be vomit coated. The whole room woke up, including Charlie. We told him what had happened and waited him to peel his face of his encrusted pillow. Strangest thing, there was no sick to be found. Charlie looked everywhere, in bed, on floor, on bags, in shoes, but the puke was not there. I really do not know who was more confused Charlie or us. He thought that we were winding him up but we really weren´t, as me Jess and K had heard him and Chad had even seen him. The only explanation was that because he was drinking Bacardi and Lemonade the puke was clear and dried almost instantly.

We were up at 4.30 the next morning (well some of us) but it was still dark so we were unable to perform a proper search for the invisible sick. Still do not know what happened with that as Charlie´s clothes did not even smell (yes thats right I braved the smell test). I am thinking of kidnapping him and selling him to medical science.

In the cold light of day it also became apparent that we had not lost Charlie to Team Ass··le when he described that the majority of his night had been spent drinking and smoking too much and talking to a complete bunch of C··ks! Phew, we thought that he had been enjoying himself and that the mothership was calling ET home.

Team Woodchip continued on toward the thermal springs and Geysers, that smelt of sulphur - not good for the team hangovers or my craving for fried eggs for breakfast.

Soon after we had to split up as Me, K, Jess and Chad were going across the Chilean border and the rest were going back to Uyuni. It was actually most distressing, and I welled up when it was parting time, and K said she felt emotional too. But as Charlie says "if you love someone let them go " - Funny lad. We have all been on tours before, but we all agreed that we had the most fun on this one and felt like we had known each other forever.

Actually Charlie knows a guy back in the IOM and has been over to see him before. He has promised to come over and visit when I get back and we can go out on the piss. (don´t worry mum I have told him he cannot stay at my house, so there will be no invisible puke to clean up).

By Charlotte Johns! 8/3/2004

posted by Katie @ 3/09/2004 02:32:00 pm